OC Drabbles
by OC King GreyGoketsu
Summary: Raijin, Raizen, and Asar get together to do a few skits. In OC Drabbles.


**OC Drabbles**

_Chapter 1_

Raizen: Disclaimer... I do own shit.

Raijin: Except for some anime and gaming content.

Raizen: Yea, except for that stuff.

A teenage boy who looked to be around sixteen walked up to a microphone in the only illuminated spot in the room. He wore a shirt that said "Delightfully Mad" and a pair of blue jeans. His hair was plain white and spiked upwards and his were a piercing yellow.

Teenage Boy: Hello loyal readers. Welcome to OC Drabbles. My name is Raijin Kaminari. Starting it off, we'll be doing RAI TALK. Now give a warm welcome to my co - host Raizen Hijoshikina

Another teenage boy walked into the room and all the lights turned on. His shirt read "I'm a Shark. Your argument is invalid." He wore a pair of black jeans. He had dark green hair pointed in more than a few different directions.

Raizen: On this segment, we'll torture people for no explicable reason.

Raijin looks at his cue cards and said: Today's victim is... Ichigo Kurosaki.

Raizen: YEA!

Ichigo appears in the blank white room in a chair. The two Rais walk into the room and take seats behind a desk.

Raijin: Hello, Ichigo Kurosaki. Welcome to RAI TALK.

**RAI TALK**

Raizen: Sup, Strawberry!

Ichigo: What did you call me?! And where the hell am I?!

Raizen: I called you Strawberry!

Raijin: You're in a universe alternate to ALL universes. Anything and EVERYTHING can happen.

Raizen: We've brought you here to ask you a few questions. If you answer correctly -

Raijin: Or efficiently.

Raizen: We'll let you go.

Ichigo, finally understanding the situation, cautiously asked: What if I don't answer your questions or don't meet your standards?

Raizen: Welllllll...

Raijin sees Raizen's hand inching towards a red button. Raijin stops him and says: No, not yet.

Raizen drew back his hand, sighed and said: Fine!

Ichigo: Well, I don't see any other options, so let's do this!

Raijin: Glad your on board!

Raizen: Question number one! Are you afraid of women?

Ichigo: What!? No!

Raijin: Oh, really? Raizen show him the clips.

Raizen: Yay!

Raizen press a button and a 70 inch plasma screen TV rolls down from the ceiling. Raizen pulls up a remote and turns on the TV. It shows Ichigo and Yoruichi in the underground hot springs. Then it switches at his home, Ichigo talking to Rangiku. Then finally to a moment between him and Nemu whilst his head was ever so slightly tucked betwixt her breasts.

Raijin: There's also the fact that people, mainly women, flock to you frequently, yet you ever so... queer.

Raizen: The hidden meaning is, Ichigo Kurosaki, are you a fag?

Ichigo: What!? And you get those videos.

Raizen: I asked is you were a fag. Gay. Homosexual (coughAIZENcough). Into men.

Raijin: Also, we received the clips from Kisuke Urahara. Or as you address him Hat n Clogs.

Ichigo: Damn you, Hat n Clogs.

Raijin: So, Ichigo, would you kindly answer the question?

For some reason Ichigo felt more compelled to answer.

Ichigo sighed and said: For the last time I'M. NOT. GAY!

Raijin: Thank you. Now it is my turn to question you.

Ichigo: Oh boy, I wonder what it is.

Raijin: I'm glad you asked. You seem to possess a knack for being blunt and jumping at the chance to your overly - sized Zanpakuto, I believe it was Zangetsu. So, my question to you is your Zanpakuto meant to be interpreted as a representation of your folic.

Raizen and Ichigo: What?

Raijin sighs and says: Is your sword compensating for something?

Raizen: Ohhh

Ichigo: Ohhh... wait, WHAT!

Raijin: I'm not repeating myself.

Ichigo: Of course not!

Raijin: Are you positive?

Ichigo: Yes!

Raijin: I see then... Raizen, back to you.

Raizen: My question is, if you could have with any of the girls when you were at the beach, who would it be?

Raizen then opened a door and Yoruichi, Soifon, Isane, Unohana, Rangiku, Orihime, Kiyone, Rukia, Yachiru, Nemu, and Nanao walked into the room. Ichigo look of irritation twisted into one of horror.

Ichigo: How did you...

Raijin: They follow us Twerk.

Raizen: A lot of people do.

Ichigo: I see...

Raizen: So, who do you choose?

Raijin: Choose wisely. You'll spend much more time with her than you will ever know.

Ichigo: I choose...

Ichigo looks around and comes to a decision after a suspenseful pause.

Ichigo: ...Unohana!

"WHAT!" Was the unanimous cry of most of the women.

Ichigo blushed and said: I'm not repeating myself!

Raijin: Then don't repeat others.

Raizen: Ichigo, I now pronounce you and Unohana master and bitch. Now go into the next room an figure out who is who!

The rest of the girls took Ichigo up from his seat and dragged him into the next room with Unohana.

Ichigo: HELP ME!

Raijin: This has been Rai talk with Raijin and Raizen.

Ichigo: HELP!

Raizen: We'll see you later folks!

Ichigo: Please?

Raijin: Thanks for reading, now it's time for Moment with Asar. Featuring... Asar.

Ichigo: Oh you guys are dicks!

Both Rais: Same to you Ichigo. Have a good night!

Ichigo: Fuck You!

Unohana: Be patient. We're about to do plenty of that.

Ichigo: Wait.. WHAT!?

Raijin: If there is anyone you, the loyal reader, would like to see interviewed leave that person's name in the comments and put (Rai Talk). But for now, over to you, Asar!

**MOMENT WITH ASAR **

With a transition we see another teenage boy behind a desk, organizing a stack of papers. He wore a camouflage jacket and jeans, a hat that read "Blaksmif", and a shirt that said "Infamous Rapper". He had tidy, black hair and dark brown eyes.

Teenager #3: Hello ladies and gentlemen welcome to moment with Asar. I'm Asar. Today we'll be discussing, THINGS THAT GRIND MY GEARS!

Asar rips up the stack of papers and tosses them to the side.

Asar: Order and Haters are on the top of that list!

Asar flips the desk over.

Asar: While we're on Bleach I'm gonna call out the fat - asses! A fat - ass, unorderly, hater that comes to mind Omeada Marechiyo! Lieutenant of second squad and THE fuckin' fattest ninja I ever damn saw. The Akamunchies ain't got nuthin on this fat ass! If you think you hot shit come out here and fight me!

Choji: You mean Akamichis.

Asar: I know the fuck I said! Who the fuck let YOU on MY segment any ways!

Choji: Sorry, I'll be going.

Asar picks up the desk he flipped earlier and breaks it over his knee.

Asar: ASAR SMASH

The Hulk appears behind Asar.

Hulk: HULK APPROVES!

A Senkaimon opened up and out stepped Marechiyo's fat ass.

Marechiyo: Who the hell are you calling fat! You wanna fight I'll kick your ass!

Asar: Bring it on, Bitch!

Marechiyo charges at Asar and swings his Zanpakuto. Asar caught it and snapped it in half with his thumb.

Asar: Oops.

Marechiyo's shock made him tumble back and fall on his ever so fat ass. His once cocky face morphed into that of fear. Asar punched the downed Marechiyo repeatedly in the face until he passed out. Before any more moves could be made another Senkaimon was opened. Out of it stepped Captain second squad, Soifon.

Soifon: There you are Marechiyo! Where have you been?!

She took a moment to survey the situation and noticed a downed Marechiyo holding a broken Zanpakuto. She looked over to Asar and said: Did you do this?

Asar: Yea, what of it?

Soifon: I must thank you. He was a pain in all of our asses. You have my thanks.

Asar: No problem! kicking ass is my job! If ya ever need me to kick someone's ass for ya just gimme a heads up!

Soifon: I'll keep that in mind.

Soifon walks over to Marechiyo and says: You've been dismissed from the stealth corp. as well as Squad 2. Hand over Soul reaper uniform after you exit Squad 4.

Asar: He's gonna be a while, then.

Soifon: Oh? Why is that?

Asar: Some friends of mine informed me that Captain Unohana will be... occupied.

Soifon: I see... In that case, see you in a month Fat - Ass.

Soifon walked back threw the Senkaimon and left Marechiyo lying on the ground. Hulk walked over to Marechiyo, picked him up, and smashed him on the ground more than a few times. After Hulk grew bored tossed Marechiyo back onto the ground and walked away. Asar walked over to Marechiyo, punted his downed for, turned his head, and said: If there is anyone you readers wanna see me rage on leave there name in the comments below and put (Moment with Asar). This has been a Moment with Asar.

**FINAL SEGMENT: THE PRANK OF THE DAY/WEEK/MONTH**

Raijin: Hello again, loyal readers, for our final segment of the day/week/month all three of us shall perform a prank.

Raizen: Yea, today's victim is Byakuya Kuchiki.

Asar: That noble bastards gonna get it today!

Raijin: Watch what you say, Asar. Lest the fan girls hear you.

The three teens shivered at the thought. They disregarded the thought and continued on. They snuck into the Kuchiki manor and climbed into the vents along the way they ran into Ichigo.

Raizen: Hey again, Strawberry!

Instead of his normal outburst Ichigo frantically looked around.

Raijin: Running from Unohana?

Ichigo: Is it that obvious?

Raizen: Well, Rukia came out of your closet so it couldn't be her.

Raijin: You said weren't gay earlier and our gaydar didn't go off so that can't be it.

Asar: And you don't train or fight in air vents.

Ichigo: We'll I gotta go before she finds me!

Unohana: Ichigo, where are you?

After hearing that Ichigo bolted Unohana brushing past the trio, hot on his tail.

Raizen: Well, that happened.

Asar: No shit.

Raijin, seeing where this was going said: Focus guys!

They snuck threw the air vents a while longer. The managed to see Byakuya quite a few times. When the FSRS (Female Soul Reaper Society) commenced in random activities. Then they're leader Yachiru Kusajishi constantly harassing him for sweets.

Raijin: Must we really prank him?

Asar: Naw, bra. He's got it pretty rough.

Raijin and Asar looked at Raizen, awaiting his answer.

Raizen: Fine we'll let him go... for now.

Raizen: In that case, it looks like we are done here.

Raijin: Good night/ day everyone.

Asar: Yea, whatever.

Raizen: I'm a shark. That means you must read more. Later

The Trio: Come back soon!


End file.
